Why Giving Gifts Feels Better Than Receiving Them

But what about when the roles are reversed? What do we feel when we’re the ones giving, and why does giving often bring us more happiness than receiving? Let’s explore.

The Meaning of Gifts

Gifts have been part of human culture since the dawn of civilization. People exchanged them both casually and during personal or public celebrations, and the act brought joy not only to the recipient but also to the giver.

The giver, in turn, enjoys the act of spending money and surprising someone — even without expecting anything in return. At that moment, the brain releases dopamine, the “happiness hormone,” creating feelings similar to the anticipation of something exciting.

While other neurotransmitters help us laugh or cry, dopamine makes us feel joy in the very moment of handing a gift to someone else. This brings not just pleasure but also benefits. The key during the holiday season is to savor the process of choosing and giving gifts, instead of falling into a stressful shopping race. The goal is to maximize the reward of generosity while protecting your peace of mind.

To better understand why people love giving and why it feels rewarding, we need to talk about altruism. This concept is similar to generosity but broader in scope.

Altruism and Gifts

Altruism is a deep-rooted drive to make life better for others, even when it means putting aside your own comfort. It’s what drives volunteers, philanthropists, first responders, and many others.

An altruist doesn’t take joy in the act of giving itself, or in having the “best” gift that proves their ability to afford it. Instead, the pleasure comes from seeing the recipient’s positive emotions. This is why a generous person is not always an altruist.

Here’s how altruism connects to the joy of gift-giving:

• On a chemical level — when we make someone else happy with no expectation of return, our brains release dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. In English, this state is even called helper’s high.
• On an empathetic level — the altruist feels joy through the joy of others. When they see that a gift truly delighted the recipient, they experience those emotions themselves.
• On a values level — for an altruist, helping and giving can be part of life’s meaning. These people cannot imagine life without the happiness of those around them.

When Giving to Others Causes Unhappiness

If you’ve ever felt that you spend too much time and money on gifts for others, this section is for you.

It’s a common habit. Some people pour weeks into a handmade present, spend an entire paycheck on a luxury gift, or even go into debt just to make a loved one happy. Most of the time, this behavior is tied to a fear of losing affection if they stop showing material generosity. But in this case, the sadness of over-giving outweighs the positive effects.

Psychologists and researchers recommend addressing this problem with curiosity and by breaking old patterns:

• Next time you want to buy someone an expensive gift, pause and ask yourself why. With time, you’ll uncover the truth: genuine love doesn’t require constant spending.
• Break the pattern that equates love with money. Even if it’s been your habit for years, you don’t have to continue doing it against your will. You are a conscious person, and you have the right to stop what makes you uncomfortable.
• Stop seeking proof of love through things. Appreciate the simple parts of relationships: phone calls, conversations, hugs, and time together.

Once you realize that your life is full of love even without showering someone with gifts, the urge to overspend will naturally fade.

Why Receiving Gifts Isn’t Always Joyful

For many people, receiving gifts is an uncomfortable subject, which is why they often prefer to tell others directly what they would like for a holiday. Let’s look at the two main reasons behind this behavior.

1. Expectation vs. reality. People often place high hopes on gifts. Each time we anticipate something special and magical, yet life sometimes forces us to be realistic. If it feels like a gift was chosen randomly, without considering our interests, or bought hastily at the deepest discount just to save money, disappointment sets in.
2. A sense of obligation. This problem is especially common in workplaces, where relationships between colleagues of different ranks are shaped by hierarchy. Receiving expensive gifts can be just as uncomfortable as giving them. Sometimes overly lavish presents from subordinates may be perceived by managers of any level as a request for a favor. In such cases, the joy of receiving a surprise immediately disappears.

How to Make Giving More Enjoyable

The joy of preparing gifts will not come automatically unless you keep a few simple rules in mind.

• Be attentive to the person’s interests. Learn about their wishes and tastes, even if you don’t know them well. Social media pages can reveal a lot: saved photos, groups, subscriptions, playlists, or mutual friends. To surprise someone by matching their wishes exactly is truly valuable.
• The gift itself is less important than the emotions. Create surprises. While some people prefer life without unexpected moments or the risk of mistakes, everyone secretly dreams of receiving a good unplanned gift. If you doubt that your chosen item will make the right impression, surprise the recipient with the way you present it — through creative wrapping or a card with a heartfelt message.
• Give without expecting anything in return. Selflessness is the main criterion of a gift given with genuine joy. Believe that your sincerity will be felt by the other person on a nonverbal level.
• Do not rush — start choosing gifts early. Avoid the preholiday frenzy by planning your gift search, for example, six weeks before the important date. This gives you peace of mind and freedom of choice, as well as the chance to catch end-of-fall discounts if the holiday is Christmas or New Year's.

What Gifts Mean to the Recipient

Gifts are very important to us, and this is not about materialism. People see them as compliments, signs of care and attention, markers of safety, tokens of social approval, and much more. Let’s look at the most obvious examples.

Gifts as Signs of Love

A present received from someone can be perceived as an act of love, especially by those who are used to expressing feelings in this language. For such people, security, regular expressions of attention, stability, and generosity are essential.

Gifts as Tokens of Respect

When a boss is regularly given presents, it may be seen as a guarantee of respect from others — whether relatives, partners, colleagues, or acquaintances. At Christmas or other holidays, employees often pool their money to buy serious gifts for managers, all to show respect.

Gifts as Symbols of Recognition

When an athlete wins a competition, sponsors of the arena give them gifts. Fans, coaches, teammates, and relatives want to do the same to honor the long-awaited victory. In this moment, gifts become a symbol of recognizing someone as the best on the podium.

What Gifts Mean to the Giver

People enjoy giving gifts not only for the recipient’s happiness but also because the very act of giving brings joy and satisfaction. Gifts help express feelings, show care, and even better understand oneself. Let’s look at several reasons why gift-giving matters so much to the giver.

Gifts as a Way to Delight Others

When we choose a gift, we imagine in advance the joy of the person who will receive it. This anticipation creates a pleasant sense of excitement and lifts our mood. Seeing a genuine reaction — a smile, gratitude, delight — makes us feel happy.

Gifts as a Form of Self-Expression

Gifts allow us to tell something about ourselves. By choosing a specific present or making one by hand, we reflect our tastes, values, and way of thinking. Moreover, we think about this during the process: Will my gift be better than the others? Will I manage to surprise them more than anyone else? Did I get closer to the mark than everyone else?

Gifts as a Way to Strengthen Relationships

Exchanging gifts brings people closer together. Even a small but thoughtfully chosen present can strengthen a friendship, improve family bonds, or create a new connection with colleagues.

Gifts as an Expression of Compassion

Gifts are not only about fun — they are also about support. When we give something to someone going through a hard time — whether a close relative or a distant acquaintance — we express empathy. It might be something practical the person needs, a note of encouragement, or simply showing up in their life with a timely surprise that lifts their spirits.

Gifts as a Sign of Generosity

When we invest time and money into finding the perfect gift for someone else, we are putting that person’s happiness above our own. This is a selfless and generous act that does not require a return gift.

Gifts as Part of Social Traditions

Gifts are not just things we exchange for fun. They are part of a complex social system through which we express recognition, respect, love, and care. A present highlights a person, pointing to their importance to us.

At the same time, we enjoy not only the act of giving but also the moment when we’ve guessed the other person’s wishes, made them happier, and showed ourselves in the best light. That is why people love games and traditions built around exchanging gifts.

Secret Santa — A Beloved Holiday Tradition

Secret Santa remains one of the most popular traditions during Christmas and New Year’s. The rules are simple: participants exchange gifts anonymously. In the traditional version, everyone writes their name on a slip of paper, drops it into a box, and draws another name. Each person becomes the Secret Santa for the name they pick, and no one knows who their own Santa is until the reveal.

Today, organizing the game is even easier with an online platform like MySanta.

Key features of the service include:

• Automatic pairing — the platform matches each Santa with a recipient, eliminating the need to assign participants manually, which is especially useful for large groups.
• Preference surveys — participants can fill out wishlists with their preferences and even link to products from other websites, making gifts more personal and thoughtful.
• Anonymity — the mystery is preserved, since no one knows who is buying for whom. Exchanges are coordinated through the site, and gifts can be either physical or digital.

The service helps make gift-giving exciting and memorable while reducing the stress of organization, letting everyone focus on the joy of the holiday itself.

Try our MySanta app

You can create wishlists, add exclusions, and communicate with your gifree secretly. Moreover, there is an option to track gifts and ensure that everyone buys a present on time.

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