Secret Santa Questions To Ask Your Gift Recipient

Secret Santa is a Christmas game where each participant secretly gives a gift to another. But you don’t have to limit the exchange to drawing pieces of paper from the hat. Make the process easier and choose better gifts with questionnaires or anonymous chats.

In this article, we’ll share examples of questions to ask your gift recipient and the ways to ask them without revealing yourself. Moreover, we will recommend how to choose a gift that makes the recipient happy.

Why Asking Questions Matters

Secret Santa seems simple at first: you draw a name and buy a present. But once you become someone’s Santa, the challenge begins. What if you don’t know the person well? How do you avoid picking something generic or useless? That’s where asking questions comes in.

If your group uses an online service, you’ll often have access to a short questionnaire or wishlist. But even if you don’t, asking a few subtle questions can save you from guesswork and help you choose a gift that truly fits.

What Is an Anonymous Chat on the My Santa Service and Why Use It

MySanta is a universal platform for playing Secret Santa with any number of players, in any circumstances, and for different kinds of groups.

One of the platform’s biggest advantages is its well-designed communication system between participants, which keeps the game fun and prevents rule-breaking.

After everyone registers and the draw is complete, players can use anonymous chats.

1. Chat with your recipient. As a Santa, you can write to the person you’re gifting to — ask clarifying questions, build anticipation, leave hints, joke around, or simply wish them a great time.
2. Chat with your Santa. You can receive a message to the person who’ll be gifting to you without knowing who they are. If your Santa decides to write, you can reply — and neither of you will learn the other’s identity.
3. Group chat with all players. You can join discussions that don’t violate the rules. You’ll see each other’s nicknames, but who’s gifting to whom remains hidden.

Why Write to Your Recipient?

Anonymous chats are a key advantage of the MySanta service. The chat lets you safely learn the details that can shape the finale of the game, namely:

1. Clarify wishes if the questionnaire is incomplete. Not everyone describes their preferences in detail — some rush and jot down only a couple of words. In chat you can gently ask clarifying questions about tastes and preferences, not about the person’s identity. That gives you an edge to choose a great gift even if you don’t know the recipient personally.
2. Choose a good gift. Even the most expensive gift can be useless if the recipient has allergies, strong dislikes, or a special diet. If those specifics aren’t listed, the anonymous chat is the ideal place to clarify it. You won’t waste money, and you’ll show you care about giving something worthwhile.
3. Pick the best gift within budget. Choosing can feel like a trial if the budget is tight and quality options are limited. In chat, you can ask whether they prefer one larger gift or a set of small treats; something practical or a symbolic keepsake; a specific item or a gift card.
4. Show care. The holidays are a time when people hope for warmth and attention — even from strangers. An anonymous message from Santa is already a small miracle, even before the gift appears. If you decide to write, your recipient will feel someone is making an effort just for them, which creates a sense of care and attentiveness.
5. Liven up the game. When players don’t chat at all, the game can feel like a formality: you get a name, buy a gift, ship it, forget it. A short back-and-forth, even once, adds a spark of real interaction.

Questions To Ask Your Recipient

We’ve prepared several sets of questions grouped by purpose. They will help you start a conversation without breaking anonymity and still get what you need — to learn wishes, keep the intrigue, make contact, or simply add energy and lightness to the game.

Any question from this list that you use as the basis for a message will show you to be a polite, considerate player and will win over the recipient, even if you’ve never met.

Questions That Help You Better Understand What To Give

• Name the top three things that bring you joy in everyday life.
• Is there something that’s tempted you for a while, but you’d never buy it for yourself?
• What’s more important — a useful thing, an emotion, or a surprise?
• Do you have any allergies?
• Are there things you absolutely hate?
• If you were gifting yourself, what would you choose?
• Would you like to receive an experience instead of an item — for example, an escape room or movie tickets?

Tricky Secret Santa Questions

• What’s something only a stranger could give, and what’s something only a friend would give?
• Would you rather get a gift from a guy or from a girl?
• Would you prefer a gift from the neighbor downstairs or upstairs?
• Do you think your Santa is a he or a she?
• What if the next person to write in the group chat is your Santa?
• If you had to choose between getting a gift from me or learning who I am, which would you pick?

Questions That Help Establish Contact

• It’s pretty fun being your Santa. How do you feel about games like this?
• Is there anything I can help you with once the game ends?
• Want to share our little joys of the month with each other?
• If we could gift each other a mood, which one would you choose for yourself, and which would you give to someone else? No repeats allowed.
• People rarely have anyone willing to listen to their dreams — others find them boring. Want to make this chat our shared dream journal?
• What’s better — summer or winter all year round?

Questions That Add Humor and Holiday Atmosphere

• If you were a Christmas tree ornament, what would you be?
• What do a mandarin orange and a string of lights have in common?
• My favorite holiday character is Secret Santa. Who’s yours?
• Every day before the holidays feels like a long-distance run. How many miles did you “run” yesterday — and today?
• If you could eat only one holiday dish for the entire break, what would you choose?

A Handy Table of Sample Questions

How Not To Cross Personal Boundaries During Anonymous Chatting

When sending anonymous messages to your Secret Santa or giftee, follow these rules:

• Don’t ask anything personal. It can push the person away or be taken the wrong way.
• Don’t send more than two or three messages in a row if earlier ones were left unanswered.
• Respect the right to silence. Some people want the surprise, not the chit-chat.
• Don’t try to identify the recipient against their will — and don’t reveal yourself on purpose.

How To Keep the Secret Even If You’re Actively Chatting

Every player has different motivations. Some want to confuse their recipient, some want to crack jokes, and some want to be active in chat and remain a mystery the whole time. If both intrigue and conversation matter to you, stick to a few simple rules:

• Don’t use your trademark phrases that could give you away — especially if you’re playing with close friends.
• Change your writing style if you’re easily recognized — for example, if you usually put spaces before commas or always type in lowercase.
• Avoid words that point to gender, age, or personal life. Even if you’re joking and sure it’s harmless, the recipient may read into it and start guessing.
• Don’t move to other messengers, even if you’re strangers with no avatars and phone numbers instead of names. Outside the service, anonymity is no longer guaranteed.
• If the recipient starts to guess, it’s better to pause and cite the rules of the game than to play along.

Don’t be afraid to use chats on the MySanta service — they’ll work to your advantage. Write to your anonymous recipient the way you’d like someone to write to you: with attention, respect, and without stepping beyond your game roles.

FAQs