Practical Tips: How to Choose A Surprise Gift for Kids of All Ages
Surprises can be risky, especially when it comes to gifts for children. It doesn't get any easier as they grow, and parents often run out of ideas. Keep reading to find out what to give a preschooler an elementary student, or a teenager to make them happy.
Little ones don’t typically expect surprises in life, and they mirror the joy of their parents at the moment of receiving a gift. With older children, things get more complicated—each passing year raises their expectations, making them harder to surprise. This article delves into how to choose a great gift for kids of different ages.
Why Surprises Are Better Than Predictable Gifts
The primary goal of a heartfelt surprise is to strengthen emotional connections and trust. Kids appreciate it when a parent wants to surprise them, and parents are delighted by their child's genuine happiness, no matter the age. Surprises also:
- lower expectation levels — kids don’t always guess what they’ll get as a gift. Sometimes it's an item or experience they never considered. This helps prevent kids from having high expectations for gifts at celebrations and discourages the notion that parents must splurge for every holiday.
- teach genuine appreciation for gifts — even if a child's material dreams aren't fulfilled, the joy from parental attention and involvement is immense.
- expand their emotional range — it’s normal for kids to feel disappointed, surprised, laugh, or feel touched by a surprise. They may experience all these emotions before realizing that even if the surprise isn’t the latest gadget, it’s still very valuable.
- motivate them to surprise others — the spectrum of emotions sparked by surprises is a vibrant experience in a child’s life. They’ll likely want to share it with those around them.
Experience Gifts vs. Surprises
It’s a cultural norm for young children to value tangible items over experiences. They often attach a list of toys to their letters to Santa, rarely mentioning non-material desires.
Expensive toys, quality clothing, and other indicators of success remain desirable for many kids. However, parents don’t always fully understand their child’s wishes and may rely on their own taste or perceptions of "usefulness" when choosing gifts.
| Age | What Kids Want as Gifts | Surprises Some Parents Give |
|---|---|---|
| Boys 6-9 years old | LEGO sets, remote-controlled cars, modeling clay kits, board games with friends, interactive toys | Metal building sets, model cars without remote control, beading kits, dominoes, static plush toys |
| Girls 6-9 years old | Barbie or LOL dolls, jewelry-making kits, kids' makeup and manicure sets, sticker books, a cute backpack with cartoon characters | Non-branded dolls, crochet sets, pastels, wordy books with no pictures, formal backpacks |
| Boys 10-13 years old | Tabletop soccer, smartwatches, model-building kits, sports balls or punching bags, gaming mouse or keyboard | Bingo sets, decorative bracelets, puzzles, jump ropes, ordinary office accessories for computers |
| Girls 10-13 years old | Anti-stress coloring books with favorite characters, LED fairy lights, backlit vanity mirrors, polymer clay kits | Biographies, artificial decorative candles, pocket mirrors, children's clay |
| Boys 14-17 years old | Large portable speakers, gift cards to clothing or electronics stores, wireless headphones, gaming laptops, stylish backpacks, parkas | Mini portable speakers, T-shirts chosen by parents, another pair of wired headphones, standard laptops, fanny packs, jackets |
| Girls 14-17 years old | Skincare products, projector lights, e-readers, pajamas with cute prints, jewelry or trendy handbags | Makeup kits, utilitarian desk lamps, library memberships, unicorn onesies, children's costume jewelry |
Additional research data regarding material gifts that kids like
A survey by the American Association of Software and Video Game Manufacturers revealed that
children aged 10 to 17 dream of gifts related to video games. 39% wanted subscriptions to gaming services, 38% gaming consoles, 32% other gaming equipment or accessories, 29% in-game currency, and 22% a video game.
The remaining percentage of respondents mentioned wanting gifts like money/gift cards, clothing/accessories, electronics/tech, such as phones and smartwatches, physical toys and board games, tickets and experiences, creative and DIY supplies, and books.
A survey by a journalist from The Guardian of 21 kids aged 5 to 8 showed that
children dream of: LEGO sets, lifelike dolls, playsets for adult professions, kids' cosmetics, LED decor for rooms, giant plush toys, sports attire, slime-making kits, squishy toys, chalks, onesies, themed bedding, and so on.
However, children's interests evolve as they grow older.
If you wish to seamlessly substitute physical gifts with experience-based surprises, especially for younger kids, try emphasizing their benefits in advance. For example, unlike toys, memories last a lifetime and won't break or get lost over time.
Encourage your child to recall their most vivid memories, which could be repeated for a holiday or just because. If your child is a visual thinker, drawing these memories can be a great alternative.
Nevertheless, not all experiences bring equal joy, even as they grow up. Some activities that parents find appealing might not excite kids as much. Let’s explore which surprises genuinely thrill kids, and which might fall flat.
| Age | Experiences Kids Find Exciting | Experiences Really Only Parents Enjoy |
|---|---|---|
| Boys 6–9 years old | Membership in a young archaeologist school | A seaside vacation |
| Girls 6–9 years old | Tour of a movie studio | A play at a theater meant for adults |
| Boys 10–13 years old | Tokens for a fun zone | Tickets to a classic art museum |
| Girls 10–13 years old | Concert tickets for a favorite performer | Long trips to the countryside |
| Boys 14–17 years old | Tickets to a major sports event | Family photoshoots in formal attire |
| Girls 14–17 years old | A dance masterclass with a renowned instructor | Yoga class subscriptions |
Twenty years from now, your child may not remember the remote-controlled car you received on a milestone birthday, left idle in the garage once it stopped being fun. Yet, shared experiences and adventures will remain untouched for life.
The Importance of Gifts for a Child’s Life and Development
We’ve covered the significance of surprises, but any surprise is, in essence, a gift. What is the value of gifts from parents to their children, and why is it important to know your child’s preferences?
- They love me. Gifts signify a parent's attention and care. They affirm the emotional bond between generations and serve as a reminder that the child is a cherished family member.
- It’s interesting. New textures, scents, and stories that toys facilitate can help explore the world and develop imagination.
- It’s a way to hang out with friends. Any toy that intrigues a child and is popular among peers can serve as a social bridge. This goes beyond board games or soccer balls; even a cool car or robot can invite friends over.
- Prestige in their circle. Sometimes a gift can elevate a child’s status among friends—like a trendy phone or a high-end toy that’s heavily advertised on TV and online. This can boost confidence and help them stand out as a leader.
How to Give Surprise Gifts Right
How do you ensure that the process of preparing a surprise doesn’t spoil the experience and that the unexpected gifts benefit the child instead of causing harm?
How to Prepare a Gift Correctly
No: Don’t promise a surprise too far in advance. While the child waits and pleads, the excitement might fade, and the gift could be seen as a given.
Yes: Create an air of mystery. Beautiful, layered wrapping or a gift-giving quest can make a surprise even more desirable.
How to Encourage Kids with Gifts
No: Explicitly rewarding achievements, such as preemptively promising a phone for good grades, might not be beneficial. Surprises given afterward will not spoil the child.
Yes: Combine surprises with memorable events. For example, unexpectedly gift a new sports uniform after a child participates in competitions. It won't be perceived as a reward for efforts.
How to Consider Children’s Preferences
No: Don’t make surprises if the child doesn’t enjoy them. The common belief is surprises are good, but not everyone likes unexpected gifts.
Yes: Take your kids’ individuality into account. If one prefers predictable gifts and the other loves surprises, adopt varied approaches.
How to Achieve Variety
No: If you’re used to surprising your kids, don’t make it a monotonous tradition. Repeating the same scenario for different holidays loses the magic of surprise.
Yes: Try playing with Secret Santa. Set up a new game on the MySanta service to play with family or relatives who live far away. On Christmas, they’ll receive a mystery gift from someone, making the usual gifting unpredictable and fun. Plus, this teaches kids to surprise loved ones. The game’s mechanics are simple enough for a first-grader or younger child to participate.
