How to Set Boundaries and Actually Rest During the Holidays

In this article, we explore how to protect your energy and find peace in the busy season.

Why Boundaries Matter 

Every person has a certain amount of energy. Knowledge about it can help make one's life easier, but some people may feel exhausted after only one hour of gathering a week, while others can have several meetings and parties without feeling tired.

If you fall into this second category, don't be ashamed. Just be honest with yourself, and let your body and mind rest as much as they need. Boundaries safeguard your time, energy, and well-being.

Here are some reasons why everybody needs them :

1. There are more social events. The person might be invited to various events by different people: colleagues, friends, family members, and acquaintances. While accepting every invitation, they face financial difficulties in preparing for the events and get tired from commuting to them. Taking the time to decide which events to attend and which ones to miss can help reduce stress.
2. Tasks multiply. During the holidays, new tasks pop up quickly in all areas of life, and people may suffer from constant stress and lack of time. By setting limits, choosing important tasks, and refusing non-essential tasks, you can save time and avoid stress. Delegation of trivial tasks and good time management also help.
3. People often leave their comfort zones. Holidays often create situations where people have to do things that are not comfortable for them. For example, some have to meet with distant relatives, participate in activities with people whom they barely know or don't like, or engage in holiday activities. As a result, many people may not find these experiences exciting, especially if they are introverted by nature.

Understanding yourself and your limits can help you avoid potential stress caused by communicating with a lot of people and stay calm and balanced during the holidays. Without these boundaries, people run the risk of losing joy and peace while on vacation.

What Rest Means for You

Different people identify rest differently. For someone, it is a peaceful time with books, watching movies, and going for a slow walk. For others, it means noisy parties, endless meetings with people when they recharge batteries and feel energized afterwards.

Before you agree to have one festive gathering with people, ask yourself some questions:

1. How do I feel before and after the meeting?

2. What annoys me when I go to the party?

3. Have I ever felt worse after the gathering than before it?

4. How do I feel when I spend time alone?

Be honest with yourself, pay attention to your feelings and emotions, notice whether you feel energized and refreshed after the gathering, and what activities truly replenish you. Instead of reacting to every invitation or expectation, you’ll be able to decide based on alignment with your needs.

Here are some relaxing activities that might be refreshing for different types of people:

No matter your personality type, the holiday season offers opportunities to enjoy meaningful moments. Choose the kind of activities that appeal to you most and don’t accept those that drain your energy.

When to Say “Yes”

Many of us say “yes” automatically — to holiday parties, family obligations, friends' requests. In order to prevent this from happening in the future, whenever you receive an invitation with certain doubts, take your time to consider it. Say to the person inviting you that you have to check your schedule and mention that the invitation means a lot to you.

When you are certainly sure that you want to attend a certain event and look forward to it, you can say “yes” without thinking long. 

Here are some cases when you can do it:

• Say "yes" to your best friend’s cozy dinner, because you always feel energized and full of energy after it.
• Say "yes" to a short trip with your loved ones, which is financially available to you and causes positive feelings.
• Say "yes" to the modest celebration with your family and friends in the pleasant atmosphere.
• Say "yes" to spending time with people who make you laugh and support you.

Don't be generous in saying "yes"; take time to decide if you agree or not, and enjoy authentic celebrations where you are comfortable.

Read more:

How to Say No to Holiday Burnout Without Feeling Guilty

Read

How to Embrace “No” 

People are often reluctant to say "no" for several reasons. Some do not want to seem rude, ungrateful, or impolite, while others remember that the people who invited them came to their parties or gave them presents and feel obligated to reciprocate. In any case, rejecting an invitation does not mean offending someone; it is simply due to circumstances. 

Here are some ways of saying "no" without feeling guilty:

1. Be kind. Say how you appreciate the invitation and explain why you can’t come.
2. Offer an alternative. Suggest meeting together later and make up for the lost time.
3. Be decisive. If the person who invited you starts to blame you for not coming, stand up for yourself and tell them that you didn't do anything wrong. It's your choice to accept or refuse an invitation.

Read more:

When Holidays Feel Lonely: Tips to Stay Connected and Uplifted

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How to Simplify Gift-Giving

Shopping for gifts is one of the biggest stressors of the season. People need to buy gifts not only for family members and friends, but also for colleagues and acquaintances. To make this process simple, you can agree with people on simple and affordable gifts or suggest a Secret Santa gift exchange.

Why choose a Secret Santa gift exchange:

1. It is affordable. People do not need to buy expensive presents to play this game. Homemade presents and inexpensive presents are expected. The emphasis is on warm, sincere presents.
2. It's fun. The secret Santa gift exchange has a surprise element, because nobody knows who will give a present to whom. 
3. Sometimes it has a special theme. You can organize a themed secret Santa exchange to make it even more fun. By choosing a specific theme, people become more creative and engaged in the game.
4. It is relaxing. Rather than stressful visits to shops looking for specific gifts, people can be creative and choose thoughtful gifts. This can have a calming effect on those trying to choose or make a great gift.

How to organize a Secret Santa gift exchange?

Each participant is randomly assigned to give a gift, keeping their identity secret until the exchange takes place. It's convenient to use free online secret Santa generators, like the MySanta app, which often lets participants create wishlists to make it easier to come up with gift ideas. Remind everyone that the focus is fun, so don't make the preparation process stressful or time-consuming.

Try our MySanta app

You can create wishlists, add exclusions, and communicate with your gifree secretly. Moreover, there is an option to track gifts and ensure that everyone buys a present on time.

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Plan Your Downtime

People usually plan their errands and forget to plan the thing which is also essential — rest. Time for rest does not appear magically —  you also have to schedule it. Allocate some time during the day for fitness, meditation, a slow walk, and reading. It is great to dedicate the whole day during the week to rest without any tasks at all. Treat your downtime with respect, and don’t let anyone interfere with it.

Here are some tips to plan your downtime:

1. Choose activities that recharge you. Opt for screen-free activities to help you put your mind off from work and extra information. Plan activities that bring you joy, like drawing or listening to music.
2. Create boundaries around work. Set a clear time when you stop working and keep a promise to yourself that you won’t work. Turn off any notifications in the evenings and on weekends to rest and avoid getting distracted by work.
3. Keep downtime flexible. When you have some free time, don't force yourself to do what you planned. If you feel like doing something else, don't restrict yourself from doing it.

With an intentional attitude towards your downtime, you will feel refreshed and energized, and ready for work afterwards.

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