How To Choose a Perfect Secret Santa Gift If There’s No Wishlist
Sometimes your Secret Santa recipient doesn’t write a wishlist or gift preferences. Don’t panic — you can still figure out what they’d enjoy.
Secret Santa works best when players share their wishes. That’s why almost every game organizer reminds participants to create a wishlist. But even with reminders, not everyone gets around to it. And if you play in person, there isn't always an option to make a wishlist.
But what if there’s no wishlist at all, or the recipient only shared a few broad gift ideas (e.g. a new novel or something for the home)? How do you still hit the mark? Below are several simple ways to delight the recipient and become an ideal Secret Santa for someone.
Where Did Wishlists Come From?
Originally, the wishlists were were personal notes — desires or goals written in a journal or notebook. In the Middle Ages, such lists expressed aspirations and plans and served as prayer requests: petitions left at altars or addressed to saints or the church.
When Did the Wishlist We Know Today Appear?
The modern wishlist emerged in the early 20th century alongside department stores and printed catalogs — shoppers marked the items they liked and shared those lists with loved ones. Holiday culture amplified the practice, and children were encouraged to write letters to Santa, turning their wishes into structured lists you could actually shop from.
When Did the First Digital Wishlists Appear?
With the rise of e-commerce, Amazon and eBay were among the first to let users save desired items online and share those lists. The format proved convenient: lists updated in real time, were always available by link, and worked from anywhere in the world.
Today digital wishlists have become a norm for every holiday, helping people organize their desires and making it easier for others to choose gifts for them.
Which Is Better — A Surprise or a Gift From the Wishlist?
There’s no single right answer. Givers often try to choose something spectacular, even if it doesn’t quite match real wishes. Recipients, on the other hand, frequently prefer exactly what they asked for — even if it looks less impressive. Surprises still have power, though: when a gift is both pleasant and unexpected, it sparks especially bright emotions and strengthens relationships.
As a result, givers reach for grand gestures, recipients value practicality, and the best outcome is somewhere in the middle.
How To Learn What a Recipient Wants If There’s No Wishlist
A Secret Santa wishlist makes it easier for the giver to choose, and gives confidence that the giftee will appreciate the present. With no wishlists, you can rely on attentiveness, observation, and a little imagination.
Here are several simple ways to understand the wishes of someone who didn’t create a wishlist — and still give a gift that delights them.
Observe Daily Habits
One of the simplest ways to figure out a gift is to pay attention to everyday details. People often reveal their preferences without realizing it.
Maybe your coworker always shows up with a reusable coffee cup, collects novelty pens, or wears quirky socks. Your classmate doodles in the margins of notebooks, or a friend constantly talks about their favorite sports team. These small habits can inspire gift ideas.
In casual conversations, listen carefully. Pay attention to things they talk about with enthusiasm, items they like in stores, or things that spark joy. A present connected to their routine and interests will feel both useful and personal.
Ask Their Friends
Friends are a goldmine of information about hobbies, dreams, and current interests. They can point out things you don't think of — a favorite game, a new sport, or an item that keeps getting postponed.
There's a nuance, though: friends may accidentally spill what you asked — especially if the topic comes up in a group. It’s safer to check with one or two of the most reliable pals, or to ask them casually, without revealing that you plan on getting a Secret Santa gift.
Review the Wishes in the MySanta App
If you're using the MySanta app, pay attention to the form the user completed when joining the game. All users write what they want to get from Santa and items they don't want. Although these might be only subtle hints, they will give you some ideas to start with.
Ask Directly
The most obvious and honest approach is to ask directly. This method saves time, money, and nerves — you will avoid giving something useless. To ask the recipient without revealing yourself, use anonymous chats in the MySanta app.
Give a Backup of a Beloved Item
Everyone has favorites they always keep on hand: a signature fragrance, a scented hand cream they use daily, a favorite T-shirt or hoodie, or a gadget they still can’t live without. Gifting the same item (or its new version) as a backup is a sure bet. Unlike an experiment with something new, here you know the present will be appreciated.
Choose Home Décor From Photos
Want to give something for the home? Look at the person’s feed in social media. A few photos can tell you which colors they love, which style they choose, and which details matter to them. Your gift won’t be random — it will fit right into their space. Paying attention to what someone openly shares helps pick a truly thoughtful Secret Santa gift.
Give a Gift Card or Subscription
If you know the recipient's interests, try a digital gift. An e-card to the favorite store, a yearly subscription for the streaming service, or a book club membership is a great way to give something personalized and useful.
Look at Social Media
In the digital age, social media profiles are like open wishlists. People share what they love, from favorite bands to travel dreams. If you notice these subtle hints and turn them into a present, you’ll hit the jackpot.
Scroll through recent posts, likes, or shared memes. Someone posting about recipes may love a new kitchen gadget; someone reposting holiday décor might be thrilled with Christmas ornaments. Just remember to be respectful and avoid invading someone's privacy.
Use Universal Gifts
If you can’t uncover specifics, stick with universal gifts that appeal for everyone. They will work perfect for a coworker you don't know well, a friend, or when playing with an online community.
We’ve collected several categories with examples that work well in most situations.
| Category | Gift Ideas |
|---|---|
| Cozy Comfort | Warm socks, candles, throw blankets, holiday mugs |
| Food & Treats | Chocolate sets, festive cookies, gourmet coffee, holiday tea samplers |
| Practical Picks | Stationery, phone chargers, notebooks, tote bags |
| Fun & Games | Board games, puzzles, playing cards, trivia sets |
| Seasonal Spirit | Christmas ornaments, snow globes, ugly sweater accessories, mini wreaths |
Keep the Season in Mind
For winter, gifts that make the cold months warmer and more pleasant are especially welcomed. Even if people grumble about the chill and short days, deep down everyone dreams of their own little movie-scene ritual: coming in from the cold, soaking in a hot bath with relaxing sea salt, lighting a gingerbread-scented candle, and nibbling a couple of chocolate Santas. You get the idea.
Give an Experience
Painting ornaments, cooking classes, virtual wine tasting, concert tickets, or pottery class — most people rarely jump into these alone, and inspiration can be fickle. But with a good teacher or studio, even someone without much skill can create something from scratch. A workshop is a gift with added value: a handmade item crafted by experienced artisans is often pricey not because of materials, but because of labor and know-how.
Joining a workshop lets a person walk that learning path themselves — while skipping the dullest steps.
If you’ve read this far, choosing a gift without a wishlist should feel less daunting than it did before. Your attentiveness, eye for detail, boldness, and imagination will help you choose something meaningful and personalized for your recipient and brighten their day.
FAQs
What if my recipient really doesn’t like the gift?
It happens, but the point of Secret Santa is the gesture. Encourage everyone to focus on fun, not just the gift. If you’re worried, stick to universal options like food, cozy accessories, or small games that appeal to almost anyone.
Are digital gifts suitable for Secret Santa?
Exchanging digital Secret Santa gifts is a great option, especially for an online game. E-gift cards, streaming subscriptions, or online classes can be thoughtful and practical. Just be sure to match the value to the agreed budget and pick a service your recipient is likely to use.
Can I ask my recipient directly what they’d like?
It's not recommend to ask your giftee directly, as it can spoil the surprise. Yet, in the MySanta app, there's an option to message your Secret Santa and your recipient anonymously. In this case, you can ask direct question without worries about anonymity.
