How to play Secret Santa with a family: A complete guide

Secret Santa is an enjoyable family tradition you can start this year. It prioritizes exchanging thoughtful presents and sharing the joy of gift-giving with your loved ones. Learn how to play Secret Santa with family, what to consider, and how to ensure that everyone gets a great gift.

Family Secret Santa rules

The Secret Santa tradition is popular in offices and among students, and you can also exchange gifts secretly with your extended family. Playing Secret Santa helps you save on gifts and create a sense of mystery and surprise for everyone.  

What is Secret Santa and how to play?

Secret Santa is a gift exchange tradition rooted in centuries. The origins of anonymous gift-giving were found in German and Scandinavian cultures, and some also recall the Christian bishop Saint Nicholas.

Secret Santa rules for the family are quite simple. All players draw names to decide who gives a present to whom, and each family member buys a present for the assigned person secretly without revealing their identity. On the exchange day, everyone unwraps a gift under the Christmas tree and guesses from whom it is.

Playing a gift exchange game helps you save on Christmas gifts, as you buy only one present and not 10. At the same time, you can buy something really nice for a family member instead of buying cheap, generic gifts for everyone. Plus, Secret Santa creates suspense and mystery, keeping everyone in your house intrigued about what to expect from their gift-giver.

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Did you know? In 2023, the poll revealed that 84% of adults participate in gift exchanges, and 54% of them prefer Secret Santa.

A step-by-step guide to organizing Secret Santa with a family

You can organize your Secret Santa game with extended family by following these Secret Santa rules:

Step 1. Invite players

Invite everyone in your family to join this year’s Secret Santa. You can send paper invitations or a short email. Participation in Secret Santa must be voluntary, so if some relatives opt-out, it is their choice.

Step 2. Draw names

All players gather in one room and write their names on pieces of paper with 2-3 gift suggestions. All family members draw names from the hat to determine who gives a present to whom. You can also add names to MySanta generator and draw names online in one click. Thus, the result of the draw will be saved, you can set exceptions, and all players can create wishlists.

Step 3. Set the family-friendly rules

Determine the gift budget for family – for example, $50 or another budget that works for you. Make sure that everyone knows the rules – you can follow traditional Secret Santa rules or add your own modifications. Set the gift theme and the place where the Christmas party will take place. If you play online, also set deadline for buying gifts to make sure everyone sends their presents by mail on time.

Step 4. Share gift ideas

Each player shares what they’d like to receive from Secret Santa this year. Gift ideas can be generic (clothes, something for the kitchen) or super specific (white eco-leather jewelry box, black earbuds). Thus, the stressful process of finding a perfect gift will be easier for each Secret Santa.

Step 5. Time for a fun reveal!  

All players bring their gifts to the party and the real fun begins! Everyone unwraps the gift and shares excitement while guessing who got them such an amazing present. Sparkle up the party by adding holiday games, organizing Christmas trivia, and taking family pictures to capture memorable moments.

But what about kids?

If there are 3 kids or more in your family, you can set up a separate Secret Santa exchange for them. Have them draw names from a hat and exchange small gifts or handmade presents with each other. Of course, everyone in the family can treat kids to nice toys, clothes, and other good gifts.

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Three ways to draw names for Secret Santa

Every gift exchange game starts with deciding who gives a present to whom. There are three ways to draw names:

The old-fashioned way with a box

Traditionally, players pick names for Secret Santa using a box or a Christmas stocking. Everyone writes their name on paper along with a few gift suggestions, and then players draw names. It is best to draw names at least a month before Christmas so that everyone has plenty of time to choose a good present.

However, it is not always possible to gather everyone in one room to draw names, especially if you have extended family coming over for Christmas. So, it is best to use convenient online generators.

Using a quick free generator

For a small group of players, you can use a quick online generator that will draw names for you in seconds. Click the Quick Draw, enter players’ names, and send the results of the draw to everyone via messenger.

This method has downsides – players cannot share their wishlists and gift ideas with each other. Plus, you cannot set exceptions, which can be helpful if your Aunt Lisa is not getting along with your father-in-law.

Convenient way with an online organizer

MySanta Secret Santa online organizer

If you want to organize a great Secret Santa exchange this year, the simplest way to do it is with an online MySanta generator. Here are some features that will help you to organize a family gift exchange quickly and hassle-free:

  • Invite players by email or QR code.
  • Share gift ideas and complete wishlists to get exactly what you want for Christmas.
  • Set exceptions so that couples don’t give to each other.
  • Draw names and determine who gives a present to whom. The results of the draw are saved.
  • The game host can track gifts and see if everyone has bought a present on time.

How to host your family Secret Santa virtually?

Organizing a remote Secret Santa helps you share Christmas joy and strengthen the bonds with family members who live far away. Here are the family Secret Santa rules for a virtual exchange:

  1. Use the online Secret Santa generator to set up the game and share gift ideas. Each player signs in and adds their address for gifts. On the platform, everyone can also chat with their Santa anonymously, keeping the mystery alive until the reveal day.
  2. Set a deadline for everyone to send their gifts via mail or delivery service. Encourage everyone to send gifts before time to avoid holiday delays.
  3. On Christmas day, schedule a video conferencing call where everyone will unwrap their gifts and guess who sent them. Sharing your warm feelings and emotions will help you stay in touch with your loved ones on a distance.
Secret Santa gifts for family
A personalized mug is a great gift for kids. Image courtesy of Joyfulmoose.com

Secret Santa gift ideas for family

Doing Secret Santa with a family gives you an opportunity to pick a really nice, thoughtful gift that will not collect dust on the shelf. After all, choosing the present for your dearest ones is much easier than for a coworker you barely know!

If your giftee has completed the wishlist or specified what exactly they want for Christmas, simply follow their directions. If not, consider the popular Secret Santa ideas for the family below.

Family gifts under $25 Family gifts under $50
1. Personalized mug 1. Hot Dog toaster
2. Cozy blanket 2. Eco makeup brush set
3. Photo frame set 3. Belt bag
4. Jewelry box 4. Green hoodie
5. Blue-light-blocking glasses 5. Smartphone screen magnifier
6. Prosecco bottle 6. Hand warmer
7. Portable Bluetooth speaker 7. Massage gun
8. Waffle maker 8. Lamp with Bluetooth speaker
9. Lip balm set 9. Bath bomb set
10. Scented candles 10. Home humidifier

Secret Santa with a twist for family gatherings

Below are the most popular Secret Santa variations for family. Feel free to choose one that best resonates with your family’s lifestyle:

White Elephant

If your family likes a good laugh, they will appreciate a chaotic and competitive White Elephant exchange. Everyone brings a wrapped gift of the agreed value. Players draw numbers to take turns, and then they can either open any gift from the pile and keep it, or steal the open gift from someone else. Players can steal gifts only once or twice.

Conspiracy Santa

This Secret Santa variation is perfect for a small family. All participants work together to choose a gift for one player without their knowledge. The number of such “conspiracies” is determined by the number of players, and each participant receives a gift from the entire family. This game helps family members closely bond with each other and learn more about each other’s interests and values.

Secret Santa casino  

This variation is perfect for the adult gathering. Players don’t draw names and bring gifts of the pre-agreed amount and also put a certain amount of money into a pot. People draw numbers to determine who goes first, second, and so on. Then, each player has three options: choose any gift from the pile, put their name in the box, and try to win the money or all unwanted gifts in the end. After all participants have chosen gifts, the players determine who wins the jackpot and gets all the remaining gifts.

Creative Secret Santa themes to play with a twist

One of the proven ways to make the Secret Santa exchange for family more creative is to set up a gift theme. It will make choosing the gift easier for each participant and ensure that everyone will receive a likable gift.

Secret Santa themes for a family exchange

  1. Practical presents
  2. Clothes and home décor
  3. Gifts of a particular shape and color
  4. Harry Potter-inspired gift exchange
  5. Cozy winter theme (blankets, funny sweaters, and cocoa kits)
  6. Gift cards (if you want the giftees to choose a present themselves)
  7. 80s nostalgia

Secret Santa with clues

Players draw names as usual. Each family member brings a gift with a recipient’s name on it and a clue about their identity. As the giftee opens the gift, they read the note and guess who their Secret Santa is. The note can have a short rhyme, a mysterious clue, or anything that makes it challenging to guess the gift-giver!

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Fun ways to reveal a Secret Santa

If you organize a Secret Santa in person, ask everyone to bring a wrapped present with a recipient’s name on it. The game host places all gifts at the center of the room. All family members take turns to unwrap their gifts and ask who their Secret Santa is! To make the reveal more fun, you can add clues, ask trivia questions, and plan extra games and activities.

For an online gift exchange, schedule a video call where players will open their gift in front of everyone, guess the gift-giver, and share emotions.

Secret Santa with family

Tips to organize a smooth family gift exchange

Set the gift budget

To avoid confusion with varying gift values, set the price limit for gifts. Usually, $50 is a good budget for family exchanges. However, you can set a higher or lower amount depending on the financial situation in your family. If someone wants to spend more on their gift, it is up to them, but others don’t have to follow their example.

Make sure that everyone knows the rules

If Secret Santa is a new tradition in your family, make sure that everyone knows exactly how the game is played. In particular, everyone should keep their name secret until the gift exchange day. If you need to look through the rules, read our rules for Secret Santa.

Draw names early

Invite players to your family exchange and draw names about a month in advance. Thus, everyone will have plenty of time to buy presents without fuss. It is especially important if you play a virtual game, as you’ll need to mail your gifts to recipients living in other corners of the world.

Organize an awesome Christmas party

Plan other activities for your Christmas party. Fun games and activities will keep your guests entertained and create wonderful memories. Think about drinks and beverages, ensuring that the preferences of your guests are taken into account.

FAQs

How to handle late joiners in family Secret Santa?

If someone joins the game after the name has been drawn, there are two options. First, you can draw names once again including the late player. In the MySanta app, you can redistribute names in seconds without fuss. Alternatively, you can pair them with another player who is late or ask them to help with decorating the place or organizing the party.

How to organize a Secret Santa if some people exchange presents in person and some by mail?

For a hybrid gift exchange, you need to set deadlines for buying and mailing gifts to ensure that all family members have their gifts before Christmas. On the exchange day, everyone joins the video call and opens presents online, sharing the fun and creating a unified experience for in-person and remote participants.

Can we set up Secret Santa for kids and adults separately?

For a mixed-age party, it is reasonable to set up separate gift exchanges for kids and adults. Set different gift budgets, themes, and rules for each group. Thus, kids will exchange age-appropriate gifts and have fun. If there is only one kid in your family, their parents or relatives can prepare a present for them.

What if someone forgets to bring their gift?

Christmas holidays are hectic, and it sometimes happens that one player forgets to bring their gift to the party. Handle the situation positively and have a few backup gifts just in case so that no one leaves the party empty-handed.

How many players do you need for Secret Santa?

Secret Santa works with three or more players. Yet, the more participants you have, the more fun it is to exchange creative personalized gifts.

Can we combine Secret Santa with other family holiday traditions?

Secret Santa will be an exciting addition to the family traditions you already have. Plan the party activities in advance so that there is plenty of time to enjoy a festive dinner, play board games, and organize fun Christmas activities. It will make your family Christmas gathering truly memorable and meaningful for everyone.

Secret Santa is an exciting tradition that will help you save on gifts while preparing a thoughtful, personalized present for a family member. It encourages the art of gift-giving and brings the family together, letting you create wonderful Christmas memories.

Try our MySanta app
Play Secret Santa with a family this year using our online organizer. Create wishlists, share gift ideas, and chat anonymously to create anticipaiton and mystery.
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Try our MySanta app