Christmas Guest Etiquette: How to Be the Perfect Holiday Visitor
Christmas is the time to spend with your friends or extended family. Learn the basic guest etiquette rules to avoid awkward situations, have a wonderful time, and ensure that you’ll get invited back!
Whether you’re staying for 3-5 days or just coming over for a Christmas dinner, follow these do’s and don’ts of Christmas guest etiquette.
Before your visit
Communicate dietary restrictions.
Never inform people about your food allergies or dietary restrictions two hours before the holiday dinner! If you’re allergic to eggs and nuts or are vegan, make the host aware of it far in advance so they have time to adjust to your preferences. The rule of thumb is the more dietary restrictions you have, the more food you should bring with you so as not to burden the host.
Bring a gift for the host.
Obviously, you will bring Christmas gifts and any other items you’ve agreed upon before (such as a drink or a meal if you’re doing the potluck). Yet, also make sure to bring a small gift for the host.
You can bring a bottle of good wine, a box of chocolates, sweet treats for kids, or anything else. If the host says you shouldn’t bring anything, don’t take it literally. Hosting is hard work, so bringing an extra present is a great way to thank the hosts for their effort and hospitality.
Dress up for the occasion.
If the host sent you a party invitation, it probably included a dress code. If not, reach out to the host in advance and ask about it. Christmas is a special occasion, and unless you agreed to have a slumber party, dress up appropriately. If you’re staying over, bring at least one festive outfit. By following a dress code or wearing something stylish, you’ll contribute to the holiday mood, plus the photos will look amazing.
During your stay
Be nice and positive.
As a Christmas guest, you are expected to spread joy and fun around you. Avoid negative topics, cynicism, or complaining about something. Maybe you are going through something at the moment, but don’t let bad experiences dominate the Christmas conversations!
Avoid talking about politics, religion, or other controversial topics. There might be guests with conflicting opinions, and you don’t want to turn the dinner table into a battlefield. Sticks to general, positive topics to keep the conversation going and lighten up everyone’s mood.
Compliment the host.
Say something nice about your host’s house, furniture, or beautiful decorations. It is good manners, and your extended family or a friend will surely appreciate it. Compliment the dinner as well – your hosts have probably gone to great lengths to make it delicious, so let them know that you appreciate their efforts!
Take part in all the activities.
Get involved in games and activities your hosts and other guests suggest. Don’t stare at your phone all night long! Take part in board games, trivia, and active games that set up the holiday mood.
Secret Santa is a fun gift exchange game that appeals to people of all ages. You can draw names a few weeks before the holiday, and exchange gifts in person when you arrive. If there are kids in your family, you can organize a separate Secret Santa for them and help them make DIY gifts for each other.
Adults and teenagers can draw names using our MySanta app. You need at least 3 people to play, and the app has wishlists, secret chats, and a gift tracking feature to ensure all players buy their gifts on time.
Learn the rules and routines.
If you plan to stay over, the first thing to do is to familiarize yourself with the hosts’ daily routine. See if they take shoes off at home or not, and follow their example. Ask around what time they go to sleep and wake up and adjust your routine to theirs. If they work from home or have a toddler, wonder what the quiet hours are. You want to make yourself comfortable, but make sure you’re not disrespectful and don’t interfere in their routines.
Should you cook as a guest?
According to etiquette, if the guest stays for 3 days or so, hosts usually cook their lunch and dinner. You can make your own breakfast, but make sure to offer your help with cooking or cleaning.
If you’re staying for a week or more, hosts are not obliged to cook for you, so make sure to shop for groceries and discuss what responsibilities you will have.
Do your own laundry.
It depends on your relationship with the host, but in most situations, you shouldn’t expect the host to do your laundry. If you’re staying with the family, you might add your laundry to their load. Yet, if the host is your extended family member or a friend, do the laundry yourself (but be sure to ask for permission first!).
Keep your room neat.
Your hosts might not enter your room during your stay. Yet, they might accidentally notice the mess when passing by, or when they come in to ask for something. The rule of thumb is to always make your bed (even if you don’t do it at home) and keep the room tidy. The host doesn’t want to see their room turned into a huge mess, especially if they keep their house clean.
Offer help.
Even if you are staying for 3-4 days, show courtesy and offer your help. You might assist with basic household chores, such as taking out the trash, helping with doing the dishes, or babysitting so that the kids’ mother can go to the gym. It depends on the duration of your stay and your relationship with the host, but there is always something you can help with.
How to help the host as a house guest
- Help with cooking. Offer your help with cooking, setting the table, or do the dishes so as not to burden the host, especially if you stay with a family.
- Keep the bathroom clean. Wipe off the surfaces and leave it as clean as it was when you entered it. This is especially important if there is only one bathroom in the house. You also don’t want to occupy the bathroom for 30 minutes each morning when your hosts are getting ready.
- Keep kids busy. Preparing a Christmas dinner can be a huge mess, so if you manage to keep children out of the kitchen and entertain them with games, it can help. Be ready to sit with kids when their parents need to have a nap or go somewhere.
- Walk the dog. During the hectic Christmas holidays, any help is appreciated!
Ask for things you need.
In case you need something, it never hurts to ask first. Politely wonder if you can adjust the thermostat or get a warm blanket. If you need a phone charger or a fresh towel, ask the host instead of looking in drawers yourself. Whatever the situation, by asking for permission, you will avoid looking intrusive.
After the visit
Tidy up your room.
Leave your room as tidy as it was when you arrived. Ask your host if you should strip the bed – many will appreciate this help. If you don’t burden the host with extra cleaning and tidy up after you’ve packed your things, there’s every chance they’ll want to invite you over again.
Send a thank-you card.
If you haven’t brought a gift for the host when you arrived, give a small present before you leave. A bottle of good wine, a box of chocolates, flowers, or a book for kids are a great way to say a sincere “thank you”. If you have given a present, then a handwritten thank-you card will be enough. Express your thanks for the holiday spent together and their hospitality.
Example of a thank-you letter to the host
Dear Maria,
I just wanted to thank you again for having us over for Christmas! Staying with you for these three days made the holiday season so much more special. I particularly enjoyed our late-night talks and the board games – I felt like we’re back in college! Thank you for making me feel so welcome and cherished.
With heartfelt thanks,
[Your Name]
FAQs
What are some good last-minute host gift ideas?
Great last-minute host gift ideas include a bottle of wine or sparkling cider, a gourmet food basket with cheeses and crackers, a potted plant like a poinsettia or amaryllis, a high-quality scented candle, or a set of artisanal chocolates. You can easily find these items in most local stores.
Can I bring a plus one to a Christmas dinner if I wasn’t invited with one?
According to etiquette, it is considered impolite to bring a plus one to a Christmas dinner if you haven't agreed upon it with the host beforehand. Holiday dinners often involve careful planning and budgeting, and an unannounced plus one can create unexpected issues. Yet, it never hurts to ask your host.
Is it rude to decline alcohol at a holiday party?
It is generally not rude to decline alcohol at a holiday party. Giving a simple reason is usually enough, and you can have a glass of a sparkling water or soda so as not to draw attention to the fact you're not drinking tonight, especially if all other guests drink.
Can I stay overnight if I wasn’t specifically invited to?
Assuming that you will stay overnight is impolite, especially if the host hasn't invited you. It's best to clarify with the host if staying overnight is an option to avoid putting your host in an uncomfortable situation.
